They Can Do It Sometimes: Understanding Fluctuating Capacity 💜

One of the most common misconceptions about neurodivergence is that ability should be consistent.

If a person can attend a social event one day, meet a deadline last week, sit through a meeting this morning, or cope well in a busy environment on one occasion, it can be easy to assume they should always be able to do the same thing.

But neurodivergent capacity often fluctuates.

The phrase:

"They can do it sometimes."

is frequently used to question, dismiss or misunderstand a person's needs.

However, being able to do something occasionally does not necessarily mean a person can do it consistently, sustainably or without significant effort.

What Is Fluctuating Capacity? 📈

Fluctuating capacity refers to changes in a person's ability to manage tasks, activities, demands or environments at different times.

Capacity isn't simply about skills or knowledge.

It's also influenced by factors such as:

• Energy levels 🔋

• Stress 🌪️

• Sleep 😴

• Sensory demands 🎧

• Physical health ❤️

• Mental health 🧠

• Environment 🌿

• Emotional wellbeing 💜

• Unexpected changes 🔄

• Competing demands ⚖️

A person may have the ability to complete a task but not always have the capacity to do so.

Understanding this difference is important.

Ability and Capacity Are Not the Same Thing ⚖️

Imagine someone asks you to carry a heavy box.

You may physically be capable of carrying it.

But if you've already carried ten boxes, slept badly and injured your back, your capacity to carry another one may be reduced.

The same principle applies to many aspects of neurodivergent life.

A person may have the skills required to:

• Attend school 🎒

• Go to work 💼

• Socialise 🫂

• Complete tasks ✅

• Communicate 💬

• Manage daily routines 🔄

But that doesn't mean they can do these things at the same level every day.

The Hidden Factors Affecting Capacity 🫣

Many of the things that influence capacity are invisible.

Someone may appear fine on the outside while managing:

Sensory Overload 🤯

Busy environments, noise, bright lights, strong smells and competing sensory information can be exhausting.

By the time someone reaches a task or event, a significant portion of their energy may already have been spent.

Sleep Difficulties 😴

Sleep challenges are common among many neurodivergent people.

A poor night's sleep can affect concentration, emotional regulation, memory and energy levels throughout the day.

Executive Functioning Demands 🧠

Planning, organising, prioritising, switching tasks and managing time all require effort.

The more executive functioning demands a person has already faced, the less capacity they may have left for additional tasks.

Masking 🎭

Many neurodivergent people spend a great deal of energy monitoring their behaviour, adapting their communication and trying to meet social expectations.

While this effort may not be visible, it can significantly affect capacity.

Stress and Anxiety 😟

Periods of increased stress can make everyday tasks feel much harder than usual.

Something that felt manageable last week may feel overwhelming today.

Why Consistency Is Not Always Realistic 🌦️

We rarely expect consistency in every other part of life.

Most people accept that:

• Energy levels vary 🔋

• Concentration varies 🎯

• Motivation varies 🌱

• Physical health varies ❤️

• Circumstances change 🔄

Yet when it comes to neurodivergence, there can be an expectation that performance should remain the same regardless of what else is happening.

This expectation can be particularly challenging because it overlooks the amount of effort that often goes into activities that others may take for granted.

The "But You Did It Before" Problem 🤔

Many neurodivergent people describe hearing phrases such as:

• "You managed it last time." 🔄

• "You were fine yesterday." 📅

• "You can do it when you want to." 💔

• "I've seen you do it before." 👀

While often well-intentioned, these comments can feel invalidating.

They focus on what was visible in one moment rather than considering the energy, preparation, support or recovery that may have made that achievement possible.

Just because something happened once doesn't mean it was easy, sustainable or repeatable under different circumstances.

Understanding the Energy Cost 🪫

Sometimes a person successfully completes a task because they have intentionally used a large amount of their available energy.

For example, someone may attend a family gathering, manage a full day at work or participate in a busy social event.

What others don't always see is:

• The preparation beforehand 📋

• The anxiety leading up to it 😟

• The recovery needed afterwards 🛋️

• The activities they had to cancel later ❌

• The increased fatigue that followed 🪫

Success often comes at a cost.

Looking only at the outcome can hide the effort that made it possible.

Supporting Yourself When Capacity Fluctuates 🥰

Recognise Your Patterns 📊

Notice what affects your energy and wellbeing.

You may find it helpful to reflect on:

• Sleep 😴

• Sensory demands 🎧

• Social commitments 🫂

• Stress levels 🌪️

• Workload 📋

• Physical health ❤️

  
  

Understanding your patterns can help you plan more realistically.

Pace Yourself 🐢

Try to balance demands with opportunities for rest and recovery.

It's often easier to prevent overwhelm than recover from it.

Let Go of Comparisons ⚖️

Comparing today's capacity to your best day can be frustrating.

Instead, focus on what is realistic and achievable for you today.

Plan for Recovery 🛌

Recovery is just as important as activity.

Building recovery time into your schedule can help make demands more sustainable.

Be Compassionate With Yourself 🥰

A lower-capacity day is not a failure.

Capacity naturally changes, and adapting to those changes is a strength, not a weakness.

Supporting Others 🤝

Believe Their Experience😁

If someone tells you they are struggling, try not to compare it with what you've seen them do before.

Trust that capacity can change.

Stay Curious 🤔

Instead of saying:

"But you managed it before."

Try: "What feels different today?" or "What support would help?"

Focus on Flexibility 🔃

Where possible, flexibility around expectations, deadlines, communication or participation can make a significant difference.

Avoid Measuring Capability by One Good Day 🥇

We all have days where things feel easier and days where they feel harder.

One successful moment doesn't necessarily reflect someone's everyday experience.

Being able to do something sometimes does not mean being able to do it all of the time.

Capacity is influenced by countless factors, many of which are invisible to the people around us.

When we move away from assumptions and towards understanding, we create space for more realistic expectations, better support and greater compassion.

Because the question isn't always:

"Can they do it?"

Sometimes the more helpful question is:

"Do they have the capacity to do it right now?"