The Hidden Struggle: Understanding Neurodivergent Masking 🕵️‍♀️

What is Masking?

Masking refers to the act of hiding one’s natural behaviours, thoughts, or responses to appear more “neurotypical.”

It’s something many neurodivergent individuals do, often without realising, just to get through daily life.

This might mean:

• Forcing eye contact even if it feels uncomfortable

• Mimicking body language or speech patterns

• Suppressing stims (like fidgeting or humming)

• Holding back honest reactions in social settings

• Planning scripts for conversations

  
  

Why Do People Mask?

Masking usually develops as a survival strategy.

Many people mask to:

• Avoid being bullied, excluded, or judged

• Meet expectations at school or work

• Fit in with peers

• Avoid being seen as “difficult,” “weird,” or “too much”

  
  

In other words, masking is often about safety and acceptance, however over time, constantly masking can become exhausting.

The Emotional Cost of Masking

Many people who mask describe:

• Burnout and extreme fatigue

• Anxiety or panic attacks

• Loss of identity or sense of self

• Depression or low mood

• Difficulty forming authentic relationships

  
  

Some also experience Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), an intense emotional reaction to perceived criticism or rejection, which can make unmasking feel risky, even with people they trust.

Unmasking: What Helps?

Unmasking is the process of letting your true self show more often. This doesn’t happen overnight, it takes safety, trust, and support.

Here’s what helps:

✅ Being around people who understand and accept neurodivergence

✅ Having spaces where stimming or silence is okay

✅ Normalising differences in communication

✅ Promoting sensory-friendly environments

✅ Valuing authenticity over performance

How Can You Support Someone Who Masks?

💬 Be curious, not critical: Let people share at their pace

🧠 Learn about neurodivergence so you don’t expect “typical” responses

🌱 Focus on comfort, not conformity

👂 Create safe spaces to “drop the mask”, even just for a little while

Final Thoughts

Masking is a deeply personal and often painful part of many neurodivergent lives. Recognising it is the first step to change. Together, we can build a culture where being different isn’t just accepted, it’s respected and celebrated.