Understanding Self-Injurious Behaviours in Neurodivergent Individuals 🧠

Celine Dyer
Jul 21
3 min read

Updated: Jul 25

Self-injurious behaviour can be one of the most distressing and misunderstood experiences for neurodivergent individuals and their families. It’s something we don’t talk about enough, and when we do, it’s often framed with fear or shame.

At NEST, we believe in approaching this topic with compassion, understanding, and hope.

What Is Self-Injurious Behaviour?

Self-injurious behaviour refers to any action where a person intentionally causes harm to their own body. This might include actions like:

Hitting oneself
Biting or scratching
Head-banging
Picking at skin or wounds
Hair-pulling

While it may look alarming to others, self-injurious behaviour isn’t usually about seeking attention or being “naughty”; it's often a way of communicating or coping.

Why Does It Happen?

There are many reasons someone might engage in self-injurious behaviours, and every person is different.

Some of the most common causes include:

Sensory Regulation: For some, self-injurious behaviours help to manage overwhelming sensory input or to “feel something” when they’re under-stimulated.
Communication: When words are hard to find, especially during moments of distress, self-injurious behaviour can become a way of saying “I need help.”
Emotional Expression: Big emotions, such as frustration, anxiety, or sadness, can feel overwhelming. Self-injurious behaviour might offer a sense of release or control.
Routine or Habit: Over time, self-injurious behaviour can become a learned coping strategy that’s difficult to unlearn, especially without supportive alternatives.

It’s Not About “Bad Behaviour”

Understanding is key. Many neurodivergent individuals who engage in self-injurious behaviour aren’t being defiant or disruptive; they’re trying to survive in a world that often doesn’t meet their needs. Judgment and punishment don’t help.

What does? Connection, support, and safe alternatives.

How Can We Help?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but here are some starting points:

Notice the Triggers 🔍

Self-injury doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Often, something, internal or external, sets it off. Spotting patterns can help prevent distress before it builds.

Try This: Keep a simple log (or diary) of when the behaviour happens. Look at what was going on just before. Was it noisy? Was a demand made? Were they hungry, tired, or overwhelmed?

Offer Safe Alternatives 🧸

If someone is trying to meet a need, such as pressure, stimulation, or emotional release, can they do so in a safer way?

Try This: Swap head-banging for pushing against a wall, scratching for squeezing putty, or skin-picking for a textured fidget toy. The key is finding what feels “just right” for them.

Reduce Sensory Overload 🔈

Many self-injurious behaviours come from sensory overload. Creating a calm environment can help the nervous system feel safer.

Try This: Use soft lighting, calming colours, deep pressure or noise-cancelling headphones. Create a go-to “calm corner” or retreat space.

Support Emotional Expression 💬

If words are hard to find, frustration can build fast. Helping someone recognise and express emotions in other ways reduces the need to “shout with their body.”

Try This: Use emotion charts, coloured cards, emojis, or simple scripts like “I feel ______because ___.” Offer praise when they use these tools instead of self-injury.

Respond with Connection 🤝

Punishment doesn’t stop self-injurious behaviour; it often makes it worse. What helps is being calm, kind, and present.

Try This: Sit with them. Reassure them. Offer comfort items or grounding tools. Speak softly and remind them they’re safe, and not alone.

When to Seek Additional Help

If self-injurious behaviour is frequent, severe, or causing lasting harm, it’s okay to seek extra support. Talk to your GP, school, or care team.

You're not alone, and neither is the person you’re supporting.

At NEST, we’re here to walk alongside you.

Self-injurious behaviour can feel scary, but it’s a form of communication, one that deserves to be met with patience, curiosity, and compassion. Together, we can create safer, more understanding environments for neurodivergent individuals to thrive.